Written by, Kalpita
2nd Jun 2025
When I watch my little girl tackle a puzzle, try a new sport, or even just ask “why?” for the hundredth time, I realise how much motivation shapes her little world. It’s not just about getting her to clean up her toys or finish her homework — motivation is the invisible force that fuels her curiosity, resilience, and growth, both now and in the years to come.
Why Motivation Matters So Much
As an early childhood educator, I’ve noticed that when children are genuinely motivated, everything changes. They stick with tricky tasks longer, bounce back from setbacks, and seem happier overall.
As a mom I learnt that motivation started very early in my girl’s life — as an infant, she showed natural curiosity and a drive to explore in her own way. By around 18 months, she began to pursue her ‘goals’ out of intrinsic interest. Between ages 2 and 5, her motivation evolved as she developed self-awareness - with intrinsic motivation still dominant but extrinsic factors like seeking approval starting to play a role. By age 5 and now 7, she is motivated by both internal curiosity and external recognition.
Here’s what I’ve learned about why motivation is so important in the early years:
Persistence and Wellbeing:
Motivated children don’t give up easily. When things get difficult, they tend to keep trying, making them feel more confident and emotionally stronger.
Cognitive Growth:
Children show cognitive growth when they are interested in a certain topic, and they ask more questions as well as probe into the details. It’s awesome to see their critical thinking open up merely because they’re incredibly motivated.
Better Performance:
Whether it is schoolwork or learning to ride a bike, the enthusiasm behind it prompts them to give their absolute best and, in the long run, enjoy the whole process.
Social Skills:
Motivated children are often found to be more charismatic and better at creating friendships. They will enthusiastically share their ideas, converse, and cooperate.
However, I have come to understand that not all motivation is alike. In fact, there are two major types in theory, and they manifest beautifully in the real world (only when looked into closely):
Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Motivation: Spot the Difference
Extrinsic Motivation:
This comes from outside — for example, my husband giving a treat for doing a great job is an extrinsic incentive. While rewards can be helpful, I’ve learned to use them carefully, since too many of these tend to dampen the natural enthusiasm.
Intrinsic Motivation:
This is the magic that happens when children are driven by their own curiosity and love of learning. They do things just because they enjoy them, not for a reward. I see this when my daughter spends hours drawing, reading, chatting and role playing, just for the fun of it.
The Lasting Impact of Motivation
What really amazes me is how motivation in childhood sets the stage for adulthood. Motivated children become adults who:
Succeed Academically and Professionally:
They’re people who more often are open to new things, quickly adopt new directions, and lead the professional life that best suits them.
Grow Personally:
One is always on the move when motivated, which is an understanding that prompts them to acquire new knowledgeable ideas and execute them perfectly.
Build Strong Relationships:
In the course of their development, children who feel comfortable around people are also those that can show that they are sorry or happy, that they are effectively communicating, and that they know how to be with others.
Why I Never Underestimate the Power of Intrinsic Motivation:
That's where the real force of the intrinsic motivation is - inside the person's mind; and you, as your child’s first teacher, can do something about it. Here’s why:
Long-Term Engagement:
Children who love learning for its own sake stick with it, even when it gets tough.
Independence:
Intrinsically motivated children make their own choices and think for themselves.
Deeper Acquaintance:
They are able to comprehend and retain more information because they are really interested.
Resilience:
They perceive the difficulties as opportunities that they can seize and not as obstacles that are impeding their progress.
Emotional Health:
Being happy about their own personality and roles, guarantees them happiness and a purpose of being as the result.
How I Encourage Lifelong Motivation:
So how do I help my girl discover that spark for herself? Here are some things that have worked for us (and that experts recommend too):
Give Choices:
Letting my daughter pick activities or decide how to approach a task gives her a sense of control.
Connect to Personal Interests:
When I tie learning to what she already loves — like unicorns, music, or interactive board games — she’s instantly more engaged.
Praise Effort, Not Only Results:
I have realised the importance of rewarding her for working hard and being patient rather than only for being perfect.
Accept Failures:
We discuss what lesson every mistake can teach and get an understanding of the reasons why something went wrong.
Support Playing and Discovery:
I constantly remind myself as a parent that children's playtime, without any structure, is the best place for their curiosity to grow.
Reach Realistic Goals:
She feels successful when I help her break big tasks into small steps - meaning she feels encouraged to doing it step by step.
Create Interpersonal Relations:
I set up more play dates and group activities for her where she can gain more social skills.
Stay Positive and Be Understanding:
My goal is to nod in agreement and be close to her in quiet and peace, as this makes her feel cherished and recognised, through my listening and cheering.
A (Not-So-Gentle) Reminder to Self:
Motivation is surely something that I cannot enforce on my daughter. Instead, it is a process I must carefully support to develop without force. By inspiring her curiosity, giving her freedom to be the girl that she is, respecting her space to explore, and cheering her for her attempts, I think I am assisting her to construct a life of learning, growing, and being content with herself. Not to mention, the way she is exploring the world with such enthusiasm is highly motivating to me and I find it truly infectious.
“Children are indeed born with wings; and as parents, we can only help them fly."
