Written by, Kalpita
24th Aug 2025
A new academic year is like an empty page of a notebook — fresh, exciting, and somewhat intimidating. For those still young, the first day at school or the very first day at school ever is a major milestone. Adults may go on about logistics - school supplies, lunch boxes, new shoes - meanwhile, children grapple with a more serious matter: the social and emotional transition to a new classroom community.
How Children Feel at the Start of the Year
• Excitement and Curiosity:
New friend-making, teacher-meeting, and place-exploring await the children, and many look forward to these.
• Fear and Worry of Unknowns:
Will the teacher be good to me? Will I have friends? What if I lose my way? These are typical fears.
• Separation Anxiety:
In the first few weeks, young children upon being separated from their parents, may feel sad or insecure.
• Physical Expression of Stress:
Anger, belly aches, headaches, clinginess, and changes in sleeping habits are some of the big emotions that come with it.
Acknowledging the feelings as normal is the first course of action for parents. Transitions take some time, and children do need a little assurance that their feelings are neither odd nor going to be there forever.
Why Social-Emotional Readiness Matters More Than Anything Else
Academic skills inherently come through structure and practice, whereas a child first needs to stand as an emotional unit for success to be possible anywhere else. Social-emotional readiness includes:
• Self-regulation: managing emotions, waiting for a turn, adapting to rules.
• Confidence and resilience: Trying new things without shutting down due to the fear of making mistakes.
• Relationship skills: Making friends, cooperating, expressing needs with words.
• Sense of belonging: Feeling safe, accepted, and valued in the classroom.
Without this readiness, a child may not thrive even if they have been prepared academically.
What Parents Can Do — How and When
• Discuss Openly Ahead of Time:
Discussions about school should be held. Possibly role-play morning routines, or practice walking into the classroom; maybe even read a book together about starting school.
• Acknowledge Feelings:
Rather than dismissing worries, acknowledge them- "It sounds like you are feeling nervous about new friends. That is okay. Most kids feel that way."
• Practice Independence:
Create situations to practise small responsible behaviour acts at home (packing their own bag, making their own choices about clothes, putting away after play, between activity transitions) so they can feel confident in school routines.
• Practice Social Skills:
Arrange community playdates where the child learns to share, take turns, and initiate conversations.
• Model Calmness and Optimism:
Children observe parents for cues to help them interpret the world around them. When parents show excitement (not anxiety) about the school year, the child internalises optimism.
• Establish Predictable Routines:
Routine in bedtime, morning structure, and family traditions give children a sense of security during a time of change.
• Keep in Contact with Teachers:
Teachers often have great insights into how your child is adjusting socially and emotionally in a new environment.
A new school year brings out those sharpened pencils and fresh notebooks, but what children really need to prepare for that first day is mostly determined inside the heart and the mind of each child. Social-emotional readiness is critical for children not only to be in school, but to belong, to connect, and to thrive. Parents are the primary means of support for fostering that readiness while offering a balance of positive reinforcement, compassion and understanding, and patience.
The first bell is the beginning of learning, yet it is more than that: a new relationship, a new set of challenges, and ultimately a new opportunity for growth. With steady and solid support from home and from school, children can enter that exciting and unknown adventure with confidence.
What Really Matters When Young Children Start School
Having spent many years teaching young children — and now as I stand at the school gate holding my own child's hand — I can picture the start of the school year in so much detail. Each August, I reflect on this both as an educator who understands how much depends on social-emotional readiness for learning, and as a mom who experiences every wave of excitement, worry, and wonder alongside her child.
The Heartbeat Behind the First Day
When I was in the teaching world, I would witness the way children arrived in polished appearances but with rumpled feelings. It occurred to me early on, that while they may know the alphabet, number recognition, and when sharing is expected, can they ask for help when their feelings are overwhelming? Will they bounce back after a tough moment? Will they make a friend on their own? Then I became a parent, and I saw those same worries in my child's eyes — and sometimes my own.
What I hope all parents knew, isn't just the significance of getting them through the door, but also the essentialness of nourishing their inner world prior to that first school bell ringing for the year. I observed and learned that:
• The bravest children are often the ones saying they are scared – and continue on, nevertheless.
• The ones who are most socially ready, are not always the loudest; sometimes, it will be the child, who is quietly watching, absorbing the rhythms of the classroom.
• Resilience does not happen overnight, it is grown through gentle nudges, not harsh pushes.
My Insights from Both Sides of the Classroom Door
As a passionate educator turned hands-on parent, I have always hoped that my fellow parents:
- Validate emotions, no matter how small. While the teacher in me is saying, “Big feelings are amazing teaching and learning opportunities.”, the mom in me is screaming, “First they need to feel that they are safe with you.”
- Model vulnerability. If the parent is showing signs of anxiousness, share and talk about that real moment with your child. It shows that bravery is showing up, not avoiding fear.
- Establish calm rituals. I have always pushed for those simple routines/rituals that provide consistency and a lifeline into the world of children. As a parent, I find that the times spent driving to and from school provide time for my child to process their day and not be interrogated.
- Talk A LOT about friendship. Sharing, listening, forgiving; are all learned skills, not innate conditions. I like asking my child things like: “What is one kind thing you did today?” Or to see if she can identify, “What is one unkind thing you did today?” And then it’s about facilitating that conversation from there onwards.
- Connect with teachers from the beginning. If your child has weirdness dabbling in fears, share this with the teacher; trust that the teacher cares! The best partnerships are when parents and teachers are on equal footing, and do not make each other adversaries.
- Don’t rush “results.” I often see parents fret over reading levels or math scores before their child even learns how to ask for help or deal with disappointments. The first month, above all, is for adjusting, belonging, and gently stretching outside comfort zones.
- Don’t fix everything. Watching your child stumble is hard. As an educator, I learned that resilience grows when children face a little frustration and solve problems themselves — with support, but without constant intervention at every turn.
- Don’t compare. Every child unfolds at their own pace. Celebrate your child’s unique way of engaging, not how they measure up against classmates – and watch them reflect the same in their approach.
- Don’t overlook sleep, play, and ‘doing nothing’ time. These are the invisible pillars of a happy school day.
The Real Preparation: The Invisible Work
Academic skills will go up and down. The only lasting lesson is to shape a child who can tolerate life's uncertainty, pursue meaningful friendships, and trust their instincts in an ever-evolving world. The invisible work of — reassuring, listening, showing up —is what we help our children carry into the classroom.
From both sides of the classroom door, I've learned repeatedly that the greatest gift we can give our children is the assurance that who they are – nervous, excited, shy, brave – is exactly enough. Let's open the year with a space to grow in, fall down, try again, and feel being loved through it all.
May your child's first day and every day thereafter be filled with bravery and belonging—both which matter more than a backpack, and oodles more than a test score.
Tidbits To Think On: A Parent's Role Today
Our lives are fast-paced, and the schools and schedules change so fast. Sometimes we are all anxious - too much to set that tone! Working on the social-emotional development of our children involves more than just them. It is about building a safe home they come back to after stumbling through their first steps. Talk about feelings, making it comfortable to say there are ups and downs; encourage them (and yourself) that being brave doesn't mean being without fear - it means choosing to face it.
First knocks at being a good academic is about being a kid that knows that their feelings matter, knows how to keep track of the feelings, and knows that people they love care to listen. This is the very thing we offer them every day.
“You are your child's first teacher and strongest advocate. With a little empathy, routine, and openness, you can help make the start of their school year not just about lessons, but lasting courage and connection.”
