Written by, Kalpita
18th Jul 2025
School holidays have a way of amplifying the joys and sometimes those mistaken notions about raising an only child — especially when the holiday extends over weeks. As a mother who grew up being an only child and is now raising one, the dynamics seem very much familiar and, at the same time, rewarding. Being an only child has given me a unique perspective on my child's life. I know what it's like to have no siblings as a child.
People may still hold onto outdated stereotypes, but I'm raising my child with confidence because I've been there before, and I know better. I know there will be quiet dinners and solo playtimes. I know that sometimes, my child might crave a brother or sister just as I did. However, I am also aware of the benefits, such as the close relationship with parents, the room for personal growth, and the ability to be who you truly are without comparison.
When the Myths Get Loud
The school term is similarly busy for everyone: classes, activities, homework, and so on. The moment the holidays set in, the good old stereotypes unleash, with notable examples like:
”Isn’t she lonely with no siblings to play with?”
“Holidays must be such a bore for an only child!”
“How do you keep her entertained all the time?”
Lonely holidays and social awkwardness is somehow what the world seems to expect, just because there isn't a sibling around the house.
Growing up as an only child myself, I heard all the usual things, the most common ones being:
“You must be so spoiled.”
“You probably don’t know how to share.”
Now that I’m a mother raising my own only-child, I still hear the same tired lines — only now, they’re directed at me as a parent:
“Don’t you think your child will miss out?”
“Won’t she be socially awkward without siblings?”
“What happens when she grows up alone?”
And here’s what I always want to say: ”I turned out simply fine — and so will my child.” But instead, here’s how I say it, without really saying it!
Debunk the Myths — Twice Over
Myth #1: Only Children Are Lonely
Were there moments of solitude in my childhood? Of course. But loneliness isn’t a given here. It’s not the absence of siblings that creates loneliness — it’s the absence of connection. Learning from my childhood experiences, I’ve made sure that my child gets sufficient opportunities to build strong connections — through plenty of playdates, friendships, and love.
Myth #2: They’re Spoiled
Here’s something I’ve learned from both sides of the story: the attention isn’t spoiling. My parents gave me their attention, but they also gave me responsibility, structure, and values. I’m doing the same for my child. I teach gratitude, accountability, and empathy — not just because it’s right, but because it’s important regardless of the presence or absence of siblings.
Myth #3: They Struggle Socially
I didn’t. My child isn’t. In fact, I think only children, out of necessity, often become highly adaptable in social situations. We learn to initiate play, nurture friendships, and build our own little “chosen families.” I see those skills already blooming in my child — and I encourage her every step of the way.
Let the Reality Speak Louder
Being an only child taught me the beauty of deep thinking, creative solitude, and strong parental bonds. Those lessons now enrich my child’s world. I didn’t grow up broken or incomplete because I didn’t have a sibling… and neither will my child. We laugh, talk, share, and build memories — just the three of us, side by side. Our family may be ‘small’ in number, but the love, engagement, and joy are limitless. I draw from my childhood every single day. I remember the things I needed more of, and the things I appreciated most — and I bring those into our home:
Deeper Parent-Child Bond
Holiday means lazy mornings for us, sharing stories every now and then, popping out for an impromptu stroll, working together on some new skillset. Being from an only-child family myself, I am able to better focus on my kid’s shifting interests and shared experiences - as partners at times, as friends at others, or even as a teacher-student duo occasionally. Just like my parents did, I prioritise meaningful connections. I make sure my child understands that she is never truly alone, even when in her own sweet company. Whether it's over lunches, long walks, or bedtime conversations, we make the time to stay emotionally attuned to each other because we share a strong bond.
Purposeful Social Connects
I intentionally create a social village. I make it a priority to promote friendships, frequent travels and community engagement to stay connected because I know how important my peers and extended family were to me as a child. I always make sure the holiday calendar is well-planned with play dates, learning activities, and opportunities to connect with extended family because I know what it's like to want company when I was a loner. In this way, our holidays continue to buzz with just the right balance of solo, creative play and interactive, social connects. My kid learns to value her ‘me-time’ as well as her social bonds with others – both life-skills I learned growing up on my own.
Embracing Independence and Creativity
Sure, there are quiet moments during the holidays. But I do not see solitude as a void, instead I see it as a valuable gift. I remember playing by myself, figuring things out solo, and developing a sense of autonomy early. I see those same qualities in my child — and I nurture them, not because it’s what people expect of only kids, but because those skills serve anyone and everyone for life. Much like I used to be, my child opens the doors to distant worlds through her imagination and dedicates herself to books, music, and art during such periods. When people spend time alone, they develop stronger resilience, their creativity increases and their self-concept becomes more enduring. These foundational characteristics in young children continue to grow even more during holidays because there is unlimited free time with no scheduled activities.
Genuine Conversations Around Feelings
Through my interactions with other moms, I have come to realise that without those sibling squabbles to take care of, our family holiday downtime tends to create some mental space for sparking real conversations. Together we talk about how my girl is feeling — a little bored perhaps or feels like having more people around — and then we come up with a plan together as solutions. This kind of quality time and transparency encourages emotional intelligence and self-advocacy.
What I Want Every Only-Child Family to Know
If you’re raising an only child — especially if you were one yourself — know this:
You’re not repeating a legacy of lack. You’re building one of depth. You get to remember what helped you thrive and let go of what didn’t. You get to break cycles and myths. You get to parent from a place of balance, reflection, and deep understanding.
No family structure is perfect. Sometimes my child will stare out the window on a rainy afternoon, at other times she would be super busy planning a graduation party in her room with her imaginary friends. I remember doing all of that as a kid myself. However, when those times start to run low on the element of fun, that is when I step up and turn things around:
• Reach out: Plan a spontaneous outing or play a board game together maybe?
• Try something new: New hobby, new project, outdoor skill perhaps?
• Respect downtime: Chill time without pressure or expectations — as that is also vital for growth.
I have learned, both as a mother and as an only child, that these moments are just normal — and these are great times to foster resourcefulness (with or without siblings).
Timely Reminders for Only-Child Parents:
• You don't need to fill every single hour — allow your child to find their own rhythms.
• Quality trumps quantity: One good friend or one meaningful project may be all that is needed to fill the holiday weeks with purpose.
• Myths are just that - myths: Only-child families live and thrive just fine, particularly when the parent and child choose to be intentional and present in their own unique ways.
Tidbits to Take-Away:
Holidays don't have to reveal a “deficit” in one-child families. Instead, they underscore the unique assets that we own: close connections, flexibility, independence, and the creativity to craft our own happiness. The times of peace and quiet can be just as wholesome as those times of spirited sounds.
Families come in all shapes and sizes. Ours happens to be made of two only children, bonded by understanding, wrapped in love, and writing our own version of what childhood and parenthood can and should be — one real, rich, and beautiful day at a time. For single child families like ours, the school holidays don’t have to be about what’s missing — but about creating the space to grow, explore, and make memories that are ours for life!
